A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed like hell," he thought to calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day/10 pound weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, beautiful, 19 year …showed first 75 words of 409 total…

…showed last 75 words of 409 total…the company to order the 7day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that eads, "If I catch you, I can have you.